Was Cheslie Krysts suicide motivated by ageism?

 

It was very sad to hear the news of Ms Cheslie Kryst who apparently killed herself by jumping from her apartment window.

People are apparently shocked since she seemed to have a lot going for her and she was successful.

Her suicide was said to be due to “mental health issues."

However, from reading about her it seems to be more than that.

If fact, where or how do people develop mental illnesses in the first place?

And could a mentally ill person do all that she did?

Maybe she really was depressed but not all depressed people go so far as to kill themselves.

There was a problem obviously big enough that there seemed no other way but to take drastic measures.

It may have seemed that the only way was to end her life.

What kind of problem was she facing that may have led to such drastic measures?

Obviously I do not know this woman and have never met her but I felt for her when reading of her suicide.

Her perceptions of life and feelings towards the future seem very familiar to me.

As young women we are constantly faced with fear of growing older.

We see the way other women are treated.

They are judged, compared to others or to their past self and are often discarded, loosing jobs and relationships.

As women we are often taught that we are only so good up until a certain age and then we are passed it.

We are not encouraged to look to the future as a positive thing but as something that will make unloved, lonely and undervalued.

We are not judged as a unique person but by date of birth.

With each year there are more and more things we are told we cannot do.

This is very depressing.

However, we can do them.

In fact, the whole concept of age and aging according or most of society is that it is something negative and down hill.

We are basically told we have no really future and any successes that we achieve are limited to a certain age or period of time.

Some people try to deal with this by claiming that actually after a certain age is when life truly begins.

They post photos of grey haired people laughing together and going on holidays, but it does not convince most of us.

Others try to hide their age and look like 16 when they are 60.

That does not really work either, since we knew Madonna was around quite before we were born.

So what is the solution to the problem of ageism in society?

Is there a solution?

This young woman must have come to the logical conclusion that I came to at 24 years old and felt afraid of reaching 30.

It was not the fact of becoming thirty that was scary, but how people would treat me.

Would they accept me?  Value me? Or discard me?

Since the age of twenty five I saw a big difference in the way people began to treat me.

At twenty five I was being asked, "are you still young?"

I was invited to different types of tests at the doctor's for no good reason, but being twenty five.

I hated that.

From that time I could only see these strange treatments that come with each birthday just getting worse.

Girls older than thirty could not use the youth hostels and young people's facilities in London.

When I saw these sorts of things it seemed that turning thirty was a really big deal.

In fact, it seemed like the end of so much fun and so many good things a long with the increased negative stereotypes and expectations that go with that.

It is no wonder that etiquette tells women not to answer about their age.

However, this girl was in the spotlight and it is hard to keep secrets.

She obviously had more stress than most of us and was more affected by this negativity towards birthdays and age.

When I looked to girls in their thirties, I felt that I dreaded reaching that "milestone."

It seemed not to be an achievement but a declining in all that we enjoy.

However, there is no way to prevent reaching a particular age, not unless you die before reaching it and then stay permenantly young.

This is what I was thinking at 24.

I can see very clearly that this girl must have been going through a similar thinking process.

She waited until she was 30 on the the 30 of January to kill herself.

I feel that I can understand her thinking somehow.

I remember when I told one man at 24 that I did not want to reach thirty.

He just stared and said, “suicide?”

I could not really say I had a particular plan but I did not want to live past thirty.

I was convinced I would not be treated well.

So many places treat people over thirty different to those “under,” 

People’s attitudes become less tolerant and compassionate towards people as they get older.

Therefore, it does seem that the logical thing for a girl who reached thirty and had had many successes and people admiring her would be afraid of “life after thirty.”

Being intelligent, she must have seen the world and how it treats women as they get older.

There is no way to prevent the advance of age each year.

The only way to stop getting older is to die young, while you are still beautiful, successful and valued.

This was a conclusion that I came to at 24 years old.

I guess the only difference is that I did not act on that, although it seemed logical.

So was ageism and fear of impending ageism a reason for her suicide?

The independent website tells us that:

An emotional essay Ms Kryst wrote for Allure in March 2021 has also resurfaced since her death, where she spoke about feeling “uncomfortable” growing older in the public eye.

“Each time I say ‘I’m turning 30,’ I cringe a little. Sometimes I can successfully mask this uncomfortable response with excitement; other times, my enthusiasm feels hollow, like bad acting,” she wrote.

“Society has never been kind to those growing old, especially women. (Occasional exceptions are made for some of the rich and a few of the famous.)”

She was described as

“one of the brightest, warmest, and most kind people we have ever had the privilege of knowing”.

“Our entire community mourns her loss, and our thoughts and prayers are with her family during this difficult time,” the statement read.

Independent.

Therefore, it seems as a sensitive person it was difficult to deal with all this discrimination.

When people say that her death means that we should deal more seriously with suicide prevention, that prevention means dealing with the real causes of suicide.

These may be outside of the person, not so much inside and may be from societies prejudice and bigotry.

We cannot blame or label a person with “mental health issues” when really it is a reaction to a sick society that does not allow people to feel comfortable being who they are.

All people everywhere will get older.

They should not be made to see this as something downhill or the end.

Neither should people be treated differently according to their age but they should be treated and valued according to who they are whatever age they have reached.

Society should also stop judging women and especially famous ones who are monitored and talked about throughout their lives.

We should have the right to continue our lives from beginning until a natural end without hindrance or discrimination.  

Without being told we have to stop at a certain age and we are not able to continue.

Neither do we want to start our lives at a certain age.

We just want to continue from the beginning smoothly to the natural end.

Therefore, I think that her death should teach us not just about suicide preventions but the reasons why people are not happy living in the ageist world and why societies attitudes are making even the most successful of people feel restricted, undervalued and uncomfortable.

It is good that she succeeded as a black woman and it shows that racism is mostly wiped out.

However, ageism is still there and is largely ignored.

It is even justified at times or backed up by mythology and psuedo science.

Therefore, people who write off this girl’s death as merely another “mentally ill person,” may be not getting the message.

She gives us the extreme example of the suffering and anguish that affect many women throughout their lifespan.

It obviously seemed that this was not something that she saw she could overcome and the only end was ending life.

 Perhaps her legacy is to help get rid of ageist prejudices and to demonstrate how seriously many women are affected by such attitudes.

By changing such beliefs and attitudes we may perhaps save lives of others before they head the same way and make better the lives of others made uncomfortable or put on hold due to discrimination.

Nowadays feminism and racism have been successfully tackled, but what about ageism?