A beautiful person: according to Islam
Currently, throughout the world, beauty has most often been understood as a physical attribute.
Beauty is most often held to be something that pleases us to look at aesthetically.
People regard artwork, sunsets, scenery and even some people as beautiful because they are pleasing to look at.
Some of the things – or people – that are considered beautiful may not be held to be beautiful by everyone.
Therefore, oftentimes beauty is subjective.
However, there are things and even people who may be considered objectively beautiful and regarded by most as such.
It is now fashionable to think that beauty can be created by adding make up. However, things cannot be added that were not there in the first place.
Make-up may at times accentuate beauty, or it may cover it or over do it.
Sometimes too much makeup actually hides a persons true beauty and can make them look like a clown.
Physical appearance is important because it may be the first thing – or the last thing - people notice about us and they may form an instant judgement.
People who are considered attractive are more likely to be treated well, considered for employment, have more choice in finding a life partner and may have better lives than those considered unattractive.
This is how the world is, and therefore it is encouraged to take care of ones appearance and health by loosing or gaining weight if need be and taking care of ones health, skin, hygiene and presentation.
Doing so will help us to be taken more seriously.
In fact, a hadith tells us that once the companions of the Prophet peace be upon him called upon his house. Before going to see them he checked his appearance in some water and straightened his beard.
His wife Aisha may God be pleased with her asked him, “You too Rasoolallah?”
However, meeting people with a good appearance and smiling face is from the sunnahs of the Prophet peace be upon him.
We are not asked to wear makeup or have facials, just be clean, neat and presentable.
However, after having a good appearance is not enough at times.
Some people may have a good appearance but their personality, behaviour or treatment of others makes others want to run away or leave the room.
People who are self-absorbed, arrogant, rude and unfriendly may find it difficult to keep friends or fans after making them in the beginning.
Having a beautiful personality and good dealings with others is what may make people attracted to us long term and is what is known as inner beauty.
Inner beauty is something that is not often considered or discussed in the modern world, especially amongst the shallow, superficial members of society.
I am not going to argue that inner beauty is permanent while physical beauty is not because both can change over time. Both can also remain.
It is not always the case the people lose their physical beauty as they get older. Some people are actually more beautiful in their older years than they were when younger.
Other people preserve themselves and so do not lose change much physically as they get older.
Such people are termed “ageless.”
According to the story of the ugly duckling which we learned as children, the ugly duckling grew snd developed into a beautiful swan.
Therefore, societies perception of beauty as well as many things, is narrow and does not encompass the different situations and types of people.
On the other hand, if people do not preserve themselves they may put on weight, loose their hair, teeth etc and maybe not appear like previously.
However, there are also many people who had an inner beauty when younger, which became corrupted or faded over time. Others are able to develop it after not having it.
What do we mean by inner beauty?
Most people when they refer to inner beauty refer to attractive and praiseworthy traits of personality, such as being compassionate, kind, caring, gentle, easy going, confident, forgiving and getting on easily with others.
According to a hadith, inner beauty is the quality of gentleness (riqa).
According to a hadith a Jewish man once greeted the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him and said “May death be upon you,” (since in Arabic it has a similar sound to may peace be upon you). The wife of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him heard this and became angry and began to answer him in a very strong way. The Prophet peace be upon him answered the man saying “and upon you too” and told Aisha that “Oh Aisha, practice gentleness, for indeed gentleness is not practiced upon any thing except that it beautifies it.”
Gentleness is the quality of not being rough or harsh.
A gentle person is able to be calm and rational in a state of anger. They do not retaliate quickly.
There is another incident in, which a man came to the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him and asked him to advise him. He told him “do not get angry,” and when asked again repeated it until he had said it three times.
People with this quality do not shout at, bully or abuse others. They are calm and rational in a state of anger.
In fact, getting angry and fighting with people frequently is a type of off putting behaviour.
People often screw up their face and scowl when angry and so this might be why we see these things as ugly behaviours.
It is not something beautiful to have constant fights and problems with other people.
Therefore, part of developing gentleness is developing patience.
This may take some time and practice.
After all children did not learn to use the bathroom, use a spoon or fork or talk all in one go.
Taking control over ourselves can be developed over time.
A gentle person is soft, calm and sweet to other people.
Gentleness is related to kindness and we usually find that they are related and one does not exist without the other.
Gentle people deal with problems amongst others with a softness and balance that does not escalate the problem.
Some people may be born with the quality of gentleness but others might acquire it through practice.
Since the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him told his wife to be more gentle, he was asking her to learn and develop the habit. Thus means we can all do so.
Yet it is unfortunate that there are many who lack this quality.
They order people and others around telling them what to do. They may try to control people by name calling or some other type of abuse.
Part of being aggressive is deciding things for others, which they should be able to decide for themselves.
This is unfortunately, widespread in the modern world.
Aggressive behaviour also involves not accepting people as they are and always tries to change them.
Gentle people, on the other hand, try to understand others, get along with them and accept them as they are.
I think if people tried to develop the quality of gentleness in their lives, we would see a lot less fighting and wars and less problems.
It is said that once Abu Bakr, a companion of the Prophet peace be upon him, was being abused by a man who was calling him names. He did not answer him the first few times and the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him was with him. Then after that he answered him and the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him left. Abu Bakr asked him why he left after he had not done so in the beginning. He replied that when he was silent, the angels answered on his behalf but when he answered they left and saytan appeared, so he left.
For this reason, it is part of the personality of a Muslim to develop gentleness and peacefulness when dealing with others.
Gentleness is one of the qualities and attributes of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him.
It is not a woman’s quality but for all people.
Some men think to be a man means to be aggressive. Yet a hadith tells us that he is not strong who shouts people down in an argument but the strong person is the one who controls himself in a state of anger.
As the Quran tells us to practice a beautiful patience (which is a patience without negativity or complaining) so we are recommended to practice other beautifying qualities.
Perhaps all praiseworthy qualities can be said to beautify the personality, but we mentioned gentleness since it is mentioned specifically in this
hadith.
Do you agree that gentleness is a beautiful quality?
What other qualities do you understand to be beautiful?
Do you think physical or inner beauty is more important? Why?
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