I decided to write about suicide after reading about recent events and the need for greater “suicide prevention.”
This prevention is more hotlines.
It is assumed that suicide is something that people do when they are depressed or mentally ill.
That seems a bit simplistic and even patronising to me, since there is already a lot of stigma and fear of mental illness.
Is it really the case that people only commit suicide because they are depressed or have “mental health problems?”
The problem may be more.
Perhaps society has a role as well.
Suicide is often described as the deliberate and voluntary taking of one’s own life. This can be premeditated and planned, even for years, or spontaneous.
It can be the logical solution to a perceived problem that seems to have no real solution or to end suffering or prevent a future event (being arrested, enslaved, oppressed, mistreated and so forth).
It can be carried out by a variety of means, such as jumping off a building, hanging oneself, shooting oneself in the head or mouth, cutting ones wrists or taking pills.
Some forms of self harm such as excessive drinking, smoking or starving oneself may also be forms of slow suicide at times.
It is different to something called euthanasia, which is the request for medical or other help to end the life of a terminally person who is in a lot of pain. This is also called mercy killing.
The moral issue of suicide:
Suicide has been a crime and an unacceptable means to deal with problems in the past.
For example, in Athens a suicide was seen as evidence of a weak person and was unacceptable in society.
The body would therefore, not be buried but rather thrown on a garbage heap.
Religions usually forbid the killing of oneself and remind a person to be patient.
Christians, and well as Muslims, are prevented from killing themselves since they are afraid of being punished after death.
In fact, in Islam a person should not even wish for death as he does not know what opportunities he may miss if he dies.
Each year while he is alive he will gain more rewards and blessings, which will increase his position in the hereafter.
Instead, he may ask God to take him when He knows death is better for him.
Instead of suicide people are asked to deal with major problems and life issues in less violent and terminal ways and instead pray, resort to God and seek help from friends, family, religious leaders and other professionals or people they trust.
With the decline in religion in various Western countries as well as the increase in stress with less support from families and others it is no surprise that more people may resort or at least consider suicide.
It is reported that at least 1 in 100 deaths are from suicide.
Some places say 1 in 10.
The problem is usually blamed on “mental health issues,” but is this really the cause of is this just brushing the issue under the carpet?
Perhaps the issue is more than the person involved...shall be blame them or society as a whole?
I mean, if so many people in a particular society are killing themselves isn’t that a problem in society more than just the person?
Another misconception is the idea that suicidal people are depressed.
However, this is not true.
Although depressed people may think about death or talk about it they usually do not have the energy or motivation to kill themselves.
In fact, people are more likely to kill themselves when their depression improves but has not yet gone entirely, since they have more motivation.
Depression medications have also been found to increase suicide attempts.
In fact there are many types of suicide that demonstrate that it does not have anything to do with depression and that people may end their lives for various reasons.
1) Cults. It is perhaps not common, especially since most organised religion does not encourage or allow suicide but there have been some new age cults and movements that have committed suicide together believing that they will go to the next life that way or to escape this world
2) Mass suicides. Throughout history there have been groups of people who have killed themselves to escape persecution after being taken over by an enemy or after been caught and subjected to torture or degrading treatment. Suicide in such circumstances is to preserve their dignity. In fact, in Kashmir, Muslim women have killed themselves to avoid being raped by enemy soldiers. Some have issued fatwas that these women are not criminals in such circumstances as they are trying to preserve their dignity.
3) Suicide bombings. Suicide bombings are terrorists who have nothing to do with depression. I can’t say much about mental health. They have a goal of ending their life for a particular “cause,” to attract attention and to harm innocent people
4) Samurai warriors. Suicide bombing seems to have been developed from the Japanese Samurai who would fight the enemy until either they killed them or were killed. It was disrespectful to live after such a fight, so after winning they would kill themselves.
5) Suicide pacts. Some people agree to kill themselves with someone or as part of a group. There have more recently been pacts taking place over the internet.
6) Escaping the law. There are quite a few criminals who end their crimes in suicide. They think that they can escape punishment this way
7) It seems that some people may commit suicide after being very happy or successful and wanting to end it all on a high note rather than have to retire or see their success decrease.
8) Escaping from life problems that seem to be escalating or never ending
9) Seeing no real future in life, or not a future that they hope for.
10) Experiencing a loss or a painful experience that they find difficult to handle or deal with and they think they cannot possibly get over.
11) Feeling unloved, undervalued and wanting attention and thinking that people will only recognise their real value after their death
There may be other reasons and types of suicide, such as being forced to kill oneself by being provoked or threatened. However, these are probably the most well known reasons.
The types and reasons above demonstrate that normally suicide is motivated by trying to escape from something, whether it is a physical danger or threat, feeling or idea. At other times it might be to make a statement or draw attention to something or oneself.
For these reasons, I find it difficult to accept that the solution to prevent suicide is just to encourage talking and create a hotline.
Counselling may help when a person is dealing with difficult emotions and has had some bad experiences that they cannot get over but it might not help all people.
I was curious whether the suicide hotline would be any benefit.
I even thought to call it to see what happened and if it would be beneficial or not but instead decided to go on the internet to see what others have said about it and whether they found it helpful.
I mean, I cannot imagine if I were faced with a situation that made me consider taking my life that I would call a hotline or go “just to talk.”
Perhaps I am not the kind of person who likes just talking about problems but I would be interested if they actually helped to solve practical problems.
Most of those who have claimed to have called the suicide hotline have claimed that it was not very helpful practically, but can be useful if someone needs to vent and talk.
The problem is they may need to wait for about half an hour before their call is taken.
Other people have complained that they get given bad advice, such as to take a bath or do their nails to cheer up.
Others have said they lost their trust after the police were called and they were taken to a mental health hospital. I don’t know whether such claims are true or not.
In any case, it seems the helpline might help people in an emotional crisis to talk and be heard by someone if they do not have someone around them for the time being.
It does not offer practical advice to problems or much more than that.
The problem is that some people really do need to see that there is a solution to their problem, or that they have hope for the future and they are valuable to the world.
If as a society people could actually make more time for each other and help people to deal with their problems in constructive ways it would help a lot.
In fact, the decline in good friendships is probably one of the reasons for the large amount of suicides.
A good friend, counsellor, therapist or family member could be more beneficial than the helpline if they are available.
Yet everyone is different and not everyone can or wants to involve people close to them.
So I guess the main thing that I have read from people that has helped them get through difficult times and with my own experience and knowledge of life in general is probably faith.
If I were asked what were the main reasons that prevent me from considering suicide it would be:
1) Faith and belief that God is there and He knows what is best for me and that He will answer my prayers and get me though things
2) Belief in the day of judgement and that death is not ending it all but rather going on to the next life where I will be judged for killing myself and all other things
3) Hope that everything will be better soon, because the Quran tells us that after the hardship is ease
4) Patience in adversity because the Quran tells us that God is with the patient and that patient people will be highly rewarded in the hereafter.
5) Remembering and reading Quranic stories of Prophets and others who were faced with illnesses, tribulations, being attacked physically and abused and wrongly accused of many things, losing loved ones and being falsely imprisoned amongst other things. The Quran demonstrates each time how they became victorious. Stories such as Ayub getting better from his illness after many years, Jacob being united with Joseph after many years of suffering and Joseph becoming the King of a country after being enslaved and put in the prison. They all provide stories of hope and that we should not give up because the situation may suddenly change from being very bad to good even if it takes some time.
6) Frequently remembering the Quranic verse that tells us that God created life and death to test us, which of us is the best in behaviour. From understanding this verse I now try and see every trial and difficulty as a test and have to find a way to deal with the situation in the best way. This has really changed my perspective on life. Instead of seeing negative things as hindrances that should not be there I now see them as an event to learn something from and feel a lot better in doing so. Knowing that things happen for a reason or purpose, does a lot in helping to accept and get on with situations.
7) Seeing life as a blessing and full of opportunities to improve rather than seeing it as a dead end.
8) Using flexible thinking to try and deal with problems. For example, if we reach a dead end in any place we will feel depressed and lost if we remain in the same dead end, however sometimes we just need to back out a bit and find another way to get to were we want to go.
9) By being around people who have been through difficulties and who came out ok or even better or reading about them. Working with brain damaged people who were positive, learning new things and sharing their positive experiences often used to make me see that any problem of difficulty can be overcome. Seeing a man with no legs succeed in gymnastics and in marathon running also inspired me to not give up on life.
10) Using logical and rational thinking rather than too much emotion and trying to find evidence for things. For example, when feeling down or that you are not valuable writing down or remembering the good things you have done that day can be very helpful.
11) Being grateful for the things that bring you comfort and happiness in life and for what others do not have. Being around people who have less than us can help us see what we have in life.
12) Understanding more about what is life and what is its purpose
13) Brainstorming and trying to find creative solutions to problems rather than “packing it all in,”
14) Considering those around us, friends, family and so forth and appreciating them and trying to keep good relationships with them. Not hurting them by threatening to harm oneself
15) Seeing life as a gift rather than a hindrance
16) Moving on and forgiving past issues and grievances by being grateful that they are not there now and being mindful.
17) Seeing suicide as a crime rather than a permissible option.
18) Knowing that many people who have attempted suicide and failed are now in better situations and they are glad they failed
19) Knowing that suicide is the end of everything and cannot be reversed. We cannot come back for another life.
20) Treating myself as any other human being. As a saying of Islam goes, a Muslim loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”
21)
Therefore, a Muslim should not abuse, attack, kill or harm another person or Muslim.
However, what about ourselves?
I mean, if it is not acceptable or ok to kill others then why would be alright to kill yourself?
A human being is a human being, so I must treat others as I wish to be treated but also treat myself as I would treat any other human being
If it is wrong to harm others, then it is wrong to harm myself too. If murder is wrong, why is it allowed to murder myself?
I guess some people think that they own their life so they can end it if they want.
Did they create themselves?
If not, they have a Creator and he gave us life and one day he will take it back.
This is the belief of Muslims.
For this reason it is not acceptable to take one’s life or any others.
Killing is killing.
I wonder if they will create a hotline to stop killing in general, so that all people who consider killing themselves or anyone else can be convinced not to do so.
Anyway, I guess most of the reasons I have provided for why I do not consider suicide are religious reasons.
Some reasons have been to change my perspective on how I see life and how to approach problems.
Man, I guess it would be good if we were taught from school how to deal with life’s problems,
How to perceive life and its purpose
.
Would that not be better that s** education and learning about the rainforest in a part of the world that we will never go to?
I wonder...
Are there signs that a person may kill themselves?
I don’t think there are specific ones but the main ones seem to be complaining a lot about life, stress and problems, and saying that death is better and such things.
In general, we are advised to take threats of suicide seriously. If someone is threatening suicide they may do it and they may need someone to prevent them.
This may not always indicate suicide, which probably depends on the person and their beliefs.
However, we should always try to be there for those around us and try to help people with their stress, sadness and life’s difficulties as much as possible.
Practical help is better than hotlines I think.
Then if someone happens to read this and they are feeling suicidal then I can only advise them to be patient and know their value.
I believe that God has created each and every human being with a value and purpose and that is why we are here.
Every person matters and is born equal.
We may not feel valued or loved sometimes but people don’t really know how to show how they value you.
However, your existence is value.
If you are a son, daughter, mother, father, sister, brother and so forth then you have value.
If you do good, or intend good for others each day you are valuable even if no one says so or seems to notice.
When you have good ideas and are able to fix anything or do anything that benefits yourself or others you are valuable.
If you feel you are not useful or valuable still then perhaps volunteering and getting involved more in helping others will help you to feel and recognise your value.
If you still have a dream then now is the time to begin it.
We do not notice all the valuable people around us most of the time.
All I can say is that do not ever allow an incident or a feeling to lead you to want to end your life.
You can change your life and live in a better and more beautiful way.
I mean, if you are stuck in one place you only have to go another way.
In reality, life is full of opportunities and possibilities we might not be seeing when upset.
We just need some time to calm down.
There are no real failures in life, sometimes there are just signs we need to try harder or in a different way.
Patience, a long with seeing difficulties as opportunities to grow, change and develop as well as making a good relationship with God and praying to Him and building a relationship with Him are probably the best things to help anyone struggling.
Especially since He will answer at any time of the day or night.
God will not ask you to wait for half an hour on a hotline and is available day and night.
He has promised to answer the distressed person when they call upon him.
He hears and can answer straight away or after a time.
And the oppressed person does not have anything preventing their prayer from being answered.
So many people say that belief in God and prayer has helped them – emotionally and practically get through problems.
In fact, I have heard atheists talking on the TV a out how at times of severe stress or difficulty they have prayed without knowing why.
Their prayers were also answered although they remained atheists.
In fact, some non believers have told me such things directly.
They did not know why they prayed.
They stayed not believing.
But their prayers were apparently answered.
Life always changes and we feel good sometimes and bad at others, but don’t forget the good and leave the bad.
And don’t allow the bad to destroy everything else.
Also, don’t allow bullies, and people who do not respect you or who are jealous or have other issues destroy your life and your feeling of worth.
You know you are a human being, like all others and God created you so you are valuable to God and society. Never mind negative talk.
We only live in this world temporarily and all of us will eventually pass on but we can try to do some good things in this world.
At the very least we can be good people who do not harm, oppress or abuse others.
Some people make other people not want to live in the world and want to end their life.
We should not pay attention to them or be from them.
Perhaps a smile or kind word may brighten someone’s day and may allow them to appreciate their life just a little while longer.
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