The problem with age grouping, age categorisation and age related deadlines is that they almost always lead to discrimination of people and a lack of acknowledgement of individuality.
Although I have often felt that there was a good deal of age discrimination in society, I had not noticed how dangerous it can more or how much it can affect people.
However, when reading about several young women who were all worried about their ages and appeared to be trying to reach age related deadlines which led to suicide and a possible attempted suicide, it shows just how too far society is pushing people.
I mean, Christy won a beauty pageant when she was thirty. So what is the big deal?
Wouldn’t many people be happy that someone won a beauty pageant at thirty? Wouldn’t that be more of an achievement than at twenty?
Apparently not. We read after her suicide that people wrote in and were complaining and saying how she was too old to be a beauty queen.
At the same time, when she died people said she was too young and had her whole life ahead of her.
So we have to wonder, why were they stopping her from living this life that she in front of her instead of saying that she was too old to do something that she very able to do?
Then Zoe, another girl who seemed to have died from attempted suicide was complaining that at twenty seven she had reflected on her life and she still had not achieved everything she had hoped to have achieved.
It seems strange that she would think that at twenty seven. I mean, she may live another eighty years.
There seems to be a pressure on people to get everything done by a certain - quite early - age.
The problem is that society just does not seem to allow people to do entirely normal things after a certain age or time or even before at times.
Some of the laws in this regard don’t even make much sense.
I mean, I remember when I was twenty four and my friend asked me to sign a form for her from the government.
At twenty four it is perfectly normal to sign forms and we do so in the bank and in school.
However, I noticed that the form said that whoever signs it must be over twenty five years old.
I gave the form back to her saying that I was only twenty four and too young to sign the form.
“Are you not twenty five yet?” she asked. “I thought you were!”
I replied that I was not. There were still a few months to go.
“So who can sign the form for me?”
There seemed to be no one. Actually I could have signed it and understood everything on the form, yet a strange rule was the only thing that prevented me from doing so.
I also never understood why when I was under twenty five and had financial support from the government I was given less than when I turned twenty five.
At twenty four I had the same address and situation than at twenty five, yet suddenly I was given more money for having an extra birthday.
I did not really appreciate such an increase.
Suddenly we were treated entirely different and placed into a new category only for having a birthday. I was no longer ticking boxes for “under twenty fives,” and could no longer use services aimed for them.
I also was invited to the doctor’s for various medical tests, which I did not need and still do not need until this day.
The only reason was being a year, or months, or days older. Is that logical?
So maybe society is trying to keep some order or something but things do not seem entirely logical or fair.
I mean, why not invite people for medical tests who have symptoms, a family history of medical problems or something that makes them a priority?
Age does not make someone a priority.
To give an example of how these age categorising can be dangerous and detrimental to people’s health and well being, I remember reading about an article in the newspaper some years ago.
The story was that a twenty two year old girl had cervical cancer and it was now quite developed because the doctor’s did not recognise it on time.
I never heard exactly what happened, but it seemed that she was going to die from it.
Women over twenty five are invited for screenings each year to check for such cancers.
Those still under twenty five are considered “too young,” to have cancer and are not invited to any tests. For this reason she got the cancer, which was not picked up until too late.
It was trying to tell us something: cancer really does not care about our age and can affect anyone.
Cancer seems to work with equal opportunities more than the society that actually claims to follow through on that!
This poor girl tried to get these silly rules changed by coming on the television and speaking about what happened to her and argued that the age for cervical smear tests should be lowered.
She was unfortunately not successful and the age limit was not lowered.
They argued that it is not normal to get cancer at such a time so there is no real need.
I wonder if it really something “normal,” over twenty five as well?
In fact, what makes it normal? I really cannot believe or accept that cancer comes about because of age. There are many other things that cause cancer. The longer we live, the more chance one of these things may happen. Or may not.
Otherwise, cancer does not seem to follow the idea that we are too old or too young.
The problem is that people often hold the idea that people are too young to have anything bad happen to them.
People are told that they are too young for cancer, heart disease, diabetes, depression, suicide, discrimination and so forth.
Yet it happens to all of us.
On the other hand by a certain age people just seem to think these things are ok or acceptable.
People are sad when someone young dies but not when someone is old. In fact, often when they are still living they will say “they have had their life.” Although it did not end yet.
People such as these women who were beauty queens and to some extent women in general are often pressured or even told that they have until a certain age to do things.
We are told we should finish education by a certain age and be married with children by a certain age and there are certain ages you just cannot do things anymore.
I mean, is it any wonder a woman who works as a model and beauty queen would think to kill herself when she is being told she is too old at thirty and perhaps she may be forced to early retirement after a few years?
She may have lived another sixty or seventy years and what would she do with herself in this time?
Most people do not have such short careers.
This is how ageism is killing people – literally at times.
We are too young when depressed or think of ending it all, but too old to really live normal lives at times.
Ageism literally interferes with people getting on with their lives and doing normal things.
When it comes to getting married ageism again begins very early.
In fact, I have had friends worrying about getting older and not finding a husband in their early twenties.
I had a friend who was twenty three and said how people reacted to her age.
There are many girls or twenty eight who feel shy to say their real age.
Some girls even lie.
In fact, sometimes they may have to if they want to be accepted to a particular type of work or even to get married.
It is strange that people are perfectly able to get on and live together when they do not know someone’s age but not when they do.
To give an example, there were two girls I used to know from Turkey.
They told me they were twenty one and twenty five.
However, the wife of their brother informed me that one of them was thirty and the other thirty five.
She further informed me that one of them got engaged to a man after telling him her age was twenty one and married him with that age.
She regarded that as silly.
However, I wondered why age would be such an issue if the man was clearly able to live with her without knowing her real age.
It demonstrates that age is not really a problem, or important but is in the minds of people.
Also, when there are not so much myths, legends and pseudo science claims people would not need to lie about their age.
I mean, is it really fair or equal opportunities to not accept people to work in a new job or to be a model or some other type or just getting married and having a family after forty?
In fact, I really don’t know why age is even asked.
For work, modelling or beauty pageants people should be able to see whether a person can do the job or not. They can also see whether a woman is beautiful or not.
Does beauty really cease after a certain age? I do not think so. I have seen beautiful older women at times in various places and anyway equal opportunities would mean that people at least have the same chance as others.
Due to primitive attitudes women are often called “geriatric mother’s,” when they have children after thirty five although there is nothing scientific to say there is any problem for women to give birth at such a time.
What is scientific is that geriatrics do not have babies.
Young women do.
Scientifically women can possibly have children until the menopause, which is usually over the age of fifty years and can be more than that.
In fact, it is said that women may possibly have a child for two years after menopause as well.
Thirty five is not the time of menopause so there is no reason to be surprised or call young women geriatric mother’s.
This seems to be a term made up by Donald Duck and other quack doctor’s.
The whole idea that forty is the time of ending everything and throwing in the towel is probably slowly being questioned and is becoming outdated.
That idea was probably suitable for previous time periods when life expectancy was only to forty years of age.
It would then make sense to say that nothing happens after forty, women do not have children, people do not get married and start careers and people just sit and reflect on their lives because they would be expecting death soon.
In our time, there are many people living into their nineties and so telling people that at forty they are old, should be reflecting and are past the age of marriage, families and changing careers is actually very oppressive and hinders people’s human rights.
If someone of forty is going to live to be 100 they will live another sixty years.
What are they to do in this time? Live without a husband? Family? Career? Is it really too late?
At forty in our times people are still getting married for the first time (because if study and work), finishing education at times and beginning new careers.
Therefore, the ideas of being over the hill and other things we were taught before really do not apply to our generation.
I think that society is slowly beginning to notice such things and there is some change taking place to demonstrate that.
It is not only forty however, but if we look at people who are in their eighties or nineties we see such people often abused as being “too old.”
There is speculation whether someone can really do things or they will forget or make mistakes due to age.
However, some people with symptoms of “dementia,” are not actually so. Rather it’s people expectancies and treatment towards them that make them feel and appear nervous and forgetful.
When you expect people to make mistakes they often will do.
When we see the Queen at ninety five still ruling the country and still with her mind we can see that older adults are often quite capable of doing the things they did when they were younger, only slower.
I was once told about a special group for memorising the Quran for “over thirties,” apparently the assumption was that people can’t memorise the Quran over thirty.
However, we see in the mosques that people memorise Quran in their eighties and memorise it well.
An old woman came down the mountain each day to learn how to read Quran and she was not able to read in general. She really was a beginner.
I do not know why she was not able to memorise before but I guess some people do not have the time when they are younger.
It is good to know that there are people memorising the Quran in their eighties.
A man in his eighties also graduated from a university with a degree in German and became an activist. He was not German but English.
There have been old women who have competed and run marathons in their nineties. They look very old but apparently they competed.
Therefore, the issue of age and age categorising in society and trying to prevent people from things they are able to do and want to do because of age is oppressive and against their human rights.
Equal opportunities should leave it up to people themselves – unless there really are things that could harm a person and others – to decide what they can or cannot do amongst other things.
People should never be refused things due to their age.
I mean, if someone wants to marry at forty, fifty or sixty they should have that option and so should they at twelve, thirteen or fourteen if they have reached a level of physical and intellectual development and are ready for that.
We cannot know better than biology, nature, the Creator and other people about themselves.
Putting time limits on people’s lives – and our own lives causes a lot of unnecessary stress and can affect our health physically and mentally.
As life expectancy has increased we should now have more time to do things without the pressure of having everything done by thirty to be valued.
A persons whole life should be valued and what they do.
At the end of the day, if we looked at the things people do without worrying about their age or whether they are over or under we would have a better, more relaxed and even society.
Doing good at twenty is still good at fifty.
Just people only have so much time.
Each person should have their own life goals.
Some marry earlier and study and work later.
Others work and study and then marry. Some never marry and some do everything together.
So however people choose to live their life and at whatever age they choose to do things they should have that choice and we should stop putting unnecessary age limits and stopping people’s lives from the beginning.
That is somehow as if killing them. We hope not literally.
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